Saturday, 20 June 2009
PATRON SAINT OF GRAFFATARIANS
Santa Barbara is fucking cool. She was born a barbararian but rebelled and her daddy wasnt happy so he locked her in a tower, he then called a judge who chopped of her tits but god must have fancied her or something cos he gave them back the next morning. She has a load of adventures and other shit happens but finally her old man gets so cross he takes her up onto the mountain to kill her, but in the same second that he slits her throat a lightning flash shoots down and fries him dead. So Barbara became the patron saint of a whole load of things; of builders cos of the tower thing, of 13 year old girls cos of the sudden breast growth thing, of any warrior or rebel cos of the fact she got revenge (whichi dont fink the lady saints did that much), of electricity and storms obviously cos of the lightning thing, and finally she is also the patron saint of sudden death.
Yeh, anyway if the Graffatarian Life is a matter of Faith, then here is its patron saint; jus one more thing to be patron saint of aint gonna make too much difference. I recommend leavin her offerings of super malt or red bull.